Sunday, February 27, 2011

Top Ten Charecter Defects of all mankind


- Traits: Intimidating / pushy / aggressive / forceful / argumentative / likes to be in control (or seem to be) / drawn to being in authority in order to be in control (or appearing to be in authority) / expect fight or flight response (then they think they've won!)

- underlying probable cause: though it doesn’t appear so because they come on strong, they usually have a very low sense of self-worth; so they compensate for that by trying to seem confident; or, If they have a strong drive to be in control, they engage in intimidating behavior to hopefully silence opposition or resistance and regain control.

- how to cope with: let them blow off their steam / don't fight or flee - be calm, respond quietly, become "stone" (not necessarily Robert Stone :) / bring conversation back to the issue with objective rather than subjective language - don't react (if you react the same, you're probably a Bull too! Good luck with that!)


- traits: some ways very much like the Bull, but not overt in behavior - rather "covert" / uses sarcasm and little cloaked nasty-tainted comments (made in general - but intended specifically) / always does it in front of others, loves an audience, to gain agreement from others /prone to gossip and slander / can twist the knife with a pleasant smile on the face

- underlying probable causes: Usually a very insecure person, so wants to use negative comments about others to bring them down so that he doesn’t look so bad (may especially target those who seem to have little faults, or who have somehow offended him, at least in his view) / Not getting enough attention - wants to get noticed, often at the expense of others / Afraid to directly confront people, so use biting little sarcastic “snipes” to change others’ view of the target person / Often cover his little attacks with humor to make them seem harmless; when attacked back, this one will quickly say, “What? Can’t ya take a little joke? Gee, you’re touchy!!”

- ways to cope: don't engage in the same - this Fox is expert at sniping, and you'll lose! / avoid the audience and talk to this person one-on-one, and find out WHY they're not happy with you - you won't resolve this with an audience.


- traits: usually quiet and agreeable - overly agreeable - can't say NO / stuff their real feelings until "the last straw" and blow up on whoever is near by / tend to be used by others because they are such givers and people-pleasers

- underlying probable causes: believe they have to make everyone happy to have self-worth / if anyone is unhappy with them, whether legitimately or not, they cannot live with themselves

- ways to cope: don't react to their explosion - give them space to vent - when calm, one-on-one seek to get them to open up about what's really bothering them - let them know that you really want them to tell you what's bothering them WHEN it's bothering them - and not to stuff it / you must be very empathetic, patient, and lovingly persistent with this person for them to trust you.

#4 DIFFICULT BEHAVIOR TYPE: The WHINER (remember Joe Piscipo on SNL as "the Whiners"?)

- traits: "Whaaa, whaaa, whaaa - woe is me!" / complain about everything, very negative / very pessimistic / express and perpetuate a feeling of hopelessness, which is how they see their world.

- underlying probable causes: probably been hurt and let down many, many times / or they want to be taken care of /can be just lazy (whine enough so others will do for them) / have a severe disability to see solutions, so focus on the problem.

- ways to cope: don't join in the whine, just encourages more of the same / don't disagree, encourages more of the same / shift the focus to solutions, and help them (don't do it for them) to see clear steps to accomplishing the solution - and keep them in friendly accountability to get there.

#5 DIFFICULT BEHAVIOR TYPE: The STONE WALL (or, stubborn "donkey")

- traits: use deliberate silence when in disagreement / dull empty stare, arms folded across chest, pushed back in their chair / use silence and obvious body language to get attention or control back

- probable underlying causes: passive aggressive tactic / fear of speaking up from getting shot down before, or called "stupid" about their contribution / possible perfectionist - can't get people to listen, so withdraw / want control, want it their way, but not given to shouting or aggression, so use obvious withdrawal body language and silence to try and get noticed and invited to be heard

- ways to cope: don't react to withdrawal, instead acknowledge their obvious silence, asking them to please share what they're thinking / be wiling to wait them out / ask open ended questions (can't be answered "yes" or "no"


- traits: Yes-man, bootlicker, brown-noser, kiss up / outwardly agrees to most everything / very NICE person by all appearances / tends to over-commit or agree to tasks unequipped to do / may vent true feelings thru gossip and slander

- probable underlying causes: getting along is the goal, at any cost (even if its your self or conscious) / very strong need to be accepted for a sense of self-worth / fear rejection /agree in order to be liked or to get what they want

- ways to cope: encourage and verbally reward honesty / make honesty non-threatening / offer tight, friendly accountability out of genuine care for them / help them to learn to say "no" according to their abilities, realistic time of commitments, etc..


- traits: this is the perfectionist - "If you can't do it RIGHT, you shouldn't do it at all!" motto / getting it right is more important than getting it done, so they will drag their feet and slow the team down / tend to come across as very negative, seeing the faults in everything (eye for detail)

- probable underlying causes: grew up in perfectionist model / were told the motto over and over / only get a sense of self-worth when they do things perfectly, though they know they never quite do / suffered many disappointments in life / so keyed to see what's wrong, they can't move on to solution / too many past failures, if the present thing isn't done perfectly, it's just another failure

- ways to cope: affirm them for the work they've done and do, and their insights / thank them for their eye for detail, and run everything by them to find problems / help them move from fault-finding to problem solving / breakdown generalizations for specifics / use exaggerated agreement to get a polar response (the opposite of what they said, for a more balanced statement from them)


- traits: they actually DO know what they're talking about, but they also get an unhealthy sense of self-worth from "knowledge" - and so flaunt it to get approval, attention, or acceptance / tend to be confident, outspoken, and assertive / often tend to be controlling - don't like contradiction or being corrected.

- probable underlying causes: somewhere they learned that to be wrong makes you nobody - to be right is everything / have come to believe their part in the world is to dominate, manipulate, and control - after all, they alone know what is right - and being right is power!

- ways to cope: never tell them they're wrong - that will be the end of any possible intelligent conversation - they take that as a personal attack (can't separate their ideas from their Self) / affirm them, affirm their knowledge - then add your "suggestions" not as contradictory, but as additional possibilities? / do YOUR homework, and contribute researched input - but NOT as contradictory, but asking for clarity of how it works with what they've shared (no element of "challenge", or the war's on!) / use them as mentors! Acknowledge their smarts, and invite them to help you learn!


- traits: this person DOESN'T know their facts, but they have a strong drive to be SEEN as having knowledge / will even invent experiences to gain a say / uses a lot of exaggerations and generalizations / tend to be assertive and push their way into conversations inappropriately / Chameleon - like the changeable lizard, will adapt to group to be involved.

- probable underlying causes: have an insatiable desire for attention and appreciation by seeming to be knowledgeable / sacrifice respect for attention / very people-oriented, much more than needed by the task or subject discussed / more concerned about acceptance from others than acceptance of their ideas

- ways to cope: don't tear apart what they've shared - you will destroy them / they require much patience and compassion / affirm their personhood - this is what they're longing for / asknowledge their good intentions, and ANY, if any, of what they've shared as helpful / one-on-one approach will work best (they want to win the audience) - gently share that you care about them as a person, that you realize what they're doing by how they share, but that they don't have to do that - to just be themselves and let people accept them, or not, for who they are, not what they know.


- traits: indecisive / their whole attitude is MAYBE / trouble accomplishing a goal

- probable underlying causes: could be laziness / could be perfectionism / more than likely, though, it is a lack of knowing what to do - HOW to accomplish the task / lack of skills / fear of responsibility (from past failures, criticisms - not wanting to be responsible for results or consequences or disfavor).

- ways to cope: Your goal with the Procrastinator: give them a strategy for decision-making and the motivation to use it / If you react in anger and impatience, they will only be more indecisive / Alleviate possible fears of the effect of their decision (your own reaction or that of others) - calmly stress the need for their honest input (might need private conversation and assurance of confidentiality if appropriate) / Patiently help them explore all their possible obstacles and options in a particular decision or task - listen to hesitations and explore deeper /Don’t let them trick you into making their decision for them (it’s easier, but you’ll continue to have the same problem with the Procrastinator). Put it back on them as their responsibility, affirming their ability (“I’ll help you”) / Teach them a decision-making system: list of pluses/minuses for each decision possibility (have them write it out to visualize - more effective).

Whew! There you go! See yourself in any of these! I sure do (I mean, see ME, not you - that's between you and the Lord!)

Hope this is helpful - I use this in a treatment center for recovering from addictions, and it is well received - despite the "ouches" !
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Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Will you Help

Tell Congress to Protect Hunger-Relief Programs

Dear Robert,

Last week, House of Representatives passed their version of the FY2011 Continuing Resolution (H.R. 1) by a vote of 235-189. This bill is intended to fund the Federal government from March 4th through the remainder of the fiscal year. In total, this legislation contains more than $65 billion of cuts to non-security discretionary spending compared to what was enacted last year. Several hunger-relief programs which are critical to food banks and low income Americans struggling with hunger, faced serious cuts:

* The Commodity Supplemental Food Program (CSFP) was cut by $20 million compared to the funding level enacted last year.
* The Emergency Food Assistance Program (TEFAP) Infrastructure Grants was zeroed out. This program was funded for the first time last year at $6 million.

We understand that Congress must make some difficult decisions to balance the budget. However, as advocates for the hungry, we must let our leaders in Washington know that they should not balance the budget on the backs of our nation’s most vulnerable citizens.

Help us urge Congress to protect hunger-relief programs by calling your Senators right now.

Here's how you can call your Senators:

* Dial 877-698-8228 and enter your zip code to connect directly to your Senator's office.
* Tell them that you are a constituent and state the name of the town you are calling from.
* Let them know you are calling about H.R. 1
* Deliver this simple message:

As an advocate for hungry Americans and a supporter of my local food bank, I urge you to oppose cuts to CSFP and other programs that are vital to food banks and low-income people at risk of hunger.

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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

STEP 2 Healing Faith

Healing Faith
Bible Reading: Luke 8:43-48
We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves
could restore us to sanity.
Faith is a key to successfully working the second step. For some
of us faith comes easily. For others, especially if we have experienced
betrayal, it may be more diffi cult. Sometimes we must
exhaust all of our own resources in trying to overcome our addictive
“disease” before we will risk believing in a higher Power.
When Jesus was on earth he was renowned for his healing
power. Crowds of sick people constantly pressed in on him. One
day there was “a woman in the crowd [who] had suffered for twelve
years with constant bleeding, and she could fi nd no cure. Coming
up behind Jesus, she touched the fringe of his robe. Immediately,
the bleeding stopped.” Jesus realized that someone had deliberately
touched him because he felt the healing power go out from him.
When the woman confessed that she was the one who had been
healed, Jesus said, “Your faith has made you well. Go in peace”
(Luke 8:43-48).
In order to recover we need to follow the example of this
woman. We cannot afford to stand back, hoping for a “cure,” and
avoid deliberate action because of our lack of faith. We may have
lived with our condition for many years, spending our resources on
promising “cures” without success. When we can come to believe
in a Power greater than ourselves and have the faith to take hold
of our own recovery, we will find the healing power we’ve been
looking for.

What a difference between knowing about Jesus and
reaching out to touch him!
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Monday, February 14, 2011

STEP 2 daily Devotion

Day 1
Grandiose Thinking
Bible Reading: Daniel 4:19-33
We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves
could restore us to sanity.
When we’re caught up in our addiction, it’s common for
us to deceive ourselves with grandiose thinking. We
may believe that we’re above it all, a god unto ourselves,
accountable to no one.
In his day, Nebuchadnezzar, king of ancient Babylon, was
the most powerful ruler on earth. He believed himself to be a god
and demanded worship as such. God said to him, “The Most High
has declared . . . [that] you will be driven from human society, and
you will live in the fields with the wild animals . . . until you learn
that the Most High rules over the kingdoms of the world and gives
them to anyone he chooses” (Daniel 4:24-25).
All this happened just as predicted. At the end of the
king’s time in exile, he said, “I . . . looked up to heaven. My sanity
worshiped the Most High and honored returned, and I praised and w
. the one who lives forever. . . . When my sanity returned to me, so
did my honor and glory and kingdom . . . with even greater honor
than before. Now I, Nebuchadnezzar, praise and glorify and honor
acts are just and true, and he is able to the King of heaven. All his a4
:34, 36-37). humble the proud” (Daniel 4hWe must remember that we are not God. We’re accountable
to a higher Power who can remedy our “madness” and restore our
lives to be even better than before our season of insanity.

God is not going to shape our lives until we
acknowledge him as God
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Thursday, February 10, 2011

We must give it away if we want to keep it. Jesus told us this in His great commission. Matthew 28:18-20, Mark 16:15-1,Luke 24:45-48, John 21:15-17. Jesus was telling us that we needed to give away what we recieved from Him not only for those who need Him, but in the process, we would become more like Him because we then would be giving away the only thing in this world that is important-the Love of God. Only by an act of God's love will any of us take the time to help another person. And when we help another person who has the same or similar problems that we have we are allowing that same love of God to heal us. This is the difference of being recovered or in a state of forever recovering. We are recovered when we are always in the process of helping other, we are recovering we are always in the process of only helping ourselves.

Being selfish has nothing to do with getting better. We are commanded by Jesus in the above scriptures to help others.
We do this by sponsoring others and helping them to apply the principles to their life. Only really coming to understand our position in CHRIST, is the key to overcoming our addictions is all about. We are saved so we do not do this for salvation, but to walk in daily victory. If we did not have someone show us, we would not be where we are today. We must continue to train others in the ways of CHRIST and serve each other out of love and compassion.
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Friday, February 4, 2011

What does the bibl say about addiction

What Does The Bible Say About Addiction?
By Dale Linton

This verse holds the foundational keys that explain the mystery of addiction.

2Peter 2:19 While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption: for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage.

Let's begin by examining some truths in life that build a foundation for which addiction thrives:

First, each and every one of us are attracted to and stimulated by the substance of the Earth. By substance I'm speaking of things like a new car, money, a new boyfriend or girlfriend,or a drug.
Secondly, the same substances which attracted and stimulated us does not have the ability to sustain the stimulation or excitement we felt when we first attached ourselves to them.

The inability of a substance to offer permanent satisfaction may be explained in a couple of ways:
The substance of the Earth is temporal and so it can only offer temporary satisfaction.

We are choosing something from the natural realm, (substance of the Earth) to feed a spiritual desire, (the need to become happy) and this will not work. Unfortunately, the endeavor to feed something spiritual with something natural creates more dysfunction the longer we're in this method of operation. Each time we fail to fulfill what we're looking for we become progressively worse. The greatest pitfall is not the problem itself, it is in not knowing there is a worsening in us as we're making these mistakes.

2 Peter 2:19 has three telling words:

Servant, Bondage, Overcome

What is a Servant?
Romans 6:16 Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?

We are a servant to anyone or anything we yield to or obey.

What is Bondage?
Galatians 5:1 Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage

Bondage is a form of slavery.

What does it mean to be Overcome?
The next verse answers this question: 2Peter 2:20 For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, they are again entangled therein, and overcome, the latter end is worse with them than the beginning.
Our biblical word bondage aligns itself perfectly in character with the modern day word addiction. The following description will hopefully leave little doubt.

Galatians 5:1

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage

Why is the word bondage aligned with the word yoke?

A yoke is something used to join two animals together for the purpose of keeping their forces headed in the same direction. The important point is that the yoke "joins together". Likewise, whatever we put our hope in, we join together with or bond to.In the same way we've become bound to the object of our hope, we also become a servant of this object, because we are in debt to the power we believe it has to satisfy our needs. In other words we tend to obey it. The key is, all this is happening without us really thinking about it, or more importantly we're not aware this is true.

2 Peter 2:19 While they promise them liberty, they themselves are the servants of corruption: for of whom a man is overcome, of the same is he brought in bondage.

What does it mean to be brought in bondage?

The verse reads that by whom a man is overcome, or made worse, he is brought in bondage. It means the vehicle this man is riding in that transports him to being overcome is called bondage. It also means this vehicle called bondage that is transporting his condition to become worse, obeys no speed limits and the brakes are no longer functioning. Finally the door locks will not release as this vehicle called bondage has enslaved it's occupant demanding they drive on. Now the reality is they're no longer driving, the vehicle is driving them and they have become its servant. One last point here: if all this is happening and we're not aware of it, then by the time we realize we're in such a vehicle it's to late because it has already trapped us. This is addiction!

How is it that while most of us have experienced this failure to choose anything that will sustain our desires, we keep right on choosing? The driving force is our quest for happiness. It is quite natural and instinctive and yet it eludes us creating a life time of bad decisions and dysfunction. Of these dysfunctions, the epidemic of addiction is only one in a long list of societal problems facing us today. The truth is we all have a flaw within us as we believe we have the ability and the control over our lives to obtain and retain happiness. However, we lack the knowledge, wisdom and understanding of spiritual matters, especially concerning ourselves.

I have a desire to see the body of Christ edified. Within the broad spectrum of edification I feel there exists a great need and opportunity for spiritual education at foundational levels. Please contact me about speaking at your church. Dale Linton 410-378-5035 or

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Wednesday, February 2, 2011

FREED MINISTRIES: latest Statistics on addiction in the USA

FREED MINISTRIES: latest Statistics on addiction in the USA

latest Statistics on addiction in the USA

The Stats on Drug Addiction
Author: Mervin Hester

Some people don't like being quoted statistics. But when we speak of statistics on drug addiction, the numbers are actually important. These numbers can help us identify problem areas with drug addictions and help us better understand what exactly is going on with drug addiction in the country.

For example, marijuana is the most commonly used illicit drug in the United States according to a 2005 survey. Over seventy-six percent of the population reported using marijuana in that year's time.

An estimated 15.9 million Americans aged twelve or older reported using illicit drug in the month prior to the 2005 survey. That statistic represents 7.1 percent of the population 12 or older. This is an increase of almost 8 percent from the previous year.

Drug addiction statistics can be a little bit scary as well. Consider that in 2003, there were nearly 20,000 deaths directly attributed to drug use both legal and illegal. Of those deaths, about 3 percent were to people 21 years of age and under.

In the year 2001 alone, use of the club drug Ecstasy increased by 58 percent from the previous year. This statistic was calculated by the amount of people who were admitted to a hospital emergency room with Ecstasy overdoses.

Statistics on rehabilitation center admissions also paint a sad picture of drug addiction. In 2006, there were over 175,000 people who checked themselves into a rehab facility. It is estimated that 5 percent of those people returned to using drugs after they were released.

Methamphetamine use is on the rise as well. In 2006, a whopping 15 percent of the population reported using meth as their primary illicit drug. This can be attributed to the fact that meth is easy to make with common household items and produces a significant high for the user that cannot be obtained by using any other drug.

Perhaps the scariest statistics on drug addiction are the ones that involve our youth. A significant percentage of young people report having been introduced to one type of drug or another on a regular basis by the age of 13. Nearly fifty percent of those children will try drugs by that age, and 20 percent will become addicted before graduating from high school.

It can be a big, bad world out there - for adults and children alike. We may sincerely want to bury our heads in the sand when it comes to drug abuse and addiction, but we can't. When presented with statistics on drug addiction, there's really no way we can ignore the fact that there's a problem in this country - a serious problem - with drugs.

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